"Things I never thought I would say out loud"
Most of the list is comprised of things I have said to our children over the years. The problem with my list and the reason I call it an imaginary one is because it may as well be written with vanishing ink...as it only exists in my short term memory. My very short term memory as of late.
Today's entry on the list, though, is so legendary I doubt I will forget it. I have retold this story several times today and have gotten a laugh every time and so I thought, perhaps, I would share it with the masses because it seems as though more people could do with a laugh or two. There are far too many things that cause us to scowl and frown and furrow our brow in distain, disgust, or grief.
Allow me to give you a little back story...Grace is complicated and simple all at once. Those of you who know her are nodding your head. Things that I expect she will forget - she will remember months from now....good or bad. Things you would think would be trivial to her - are matters of life and death. I have seen her fall, sure she's hurt and watch her get up, smile and run off. Other times it appears she has been barely hurt and half an hour later we are still wiping tears. We just roll with it as best we can. We also roll with laughter at her antics and she brings loads of joy. The personality of this child is both the delight of our days and maddening at times. Predicting her responses or behaviors is mostly impossible. Those of you who have adopted need no further explanation. Those of you who have a toddler or remember having one probably need no further explanation. I've had two toddlers before her and maybe it was because I was more of a child myself at ages 23 and 25 - but I don't recall being as baffled and taken aback at the behaviors, the language patterns, silliness, the spunk, and the drama with our first two children. Even they, as teenagers, crack up over the scenes she carries out on a daily basis so I must not be the only one to many times a day say "oh.my. you have got to be kidding me..." as I watch Grace grow and develop and carry on conversations day in and day out, about things I would never have imagined - many times these things lead to:
"things I never thought I would say out loud".
And so our story begins...
A couple of days ago we were heading out for a walk, Robert, Grace, Curious George, and I; and noticed there was a small package in our newspaper box. To Grace's joy and delight - it contained a small plastic baby, representing an unborn child, in the fetus stage of development at however many weeks gestation, a postcard with a picture of that same figure, and some information from a local pro-life group. Thrilled at our discovery and good fortune, Grace immediately alerted the neighborhood that it was a "baby!!!!!!! My baby!!!" and we continued on with our walk.
It turns out, it may as well have been Grace's unborn baby - because she was attached to that small plastic fetus from then on. She slept with it. She had the postcard with its picture on the ready to show me or whoever might like to know about it. She took the fetus baby, her larger "full term baby doll", and Curious George in her stroller for a walk. However when the stroller came in with us - all of the babies were "sleeping" and little Mama Grace forgot where the tiny plastic fetus baby was. At bedtime all she had was the postcard with the picture on it. I braced for impact at the realization that the fetus baby was missing and wouldn't be able to go to sleep with her.
I was surprised and relieved to witness no tantrum - no meltdown - nothing but her looking at the postcard, hopping up on her stool to reach her little safe scissors, where she proceeded to cut-out the shape of the fetus baby on the postcard, kiss it, held it in a vice grip with her tiny thumb and fingers and carried it up to bed where she fell asleep - the tiny picture of the fetus baby safe in her hand.
That was the last time my very short term memory remembered that there even was a cut out picture of a tiny fetus baby in Grace's grip.
The first sound I heard was terror. I opened one eye - only the one, because it was too early for Grace to be awake. Whichever eye was seeing things, saw the clock and read 6:30am. Grace was in a panic. This is not unusual for her to panic upon waking if she is alone - but she was in our room on her cot and and typically she wakes up, sees me, climbs into bed next to me and goes back to sleep for a little while longer. It's delightfully snuggly and precious, I love it.
Not.today.
Today there was a full on assault to my newly wakened ears and because I was not fully awake it took about 18 times of her saying:
"My baby!!!! Oh NO!!! Mama!!!! Hep!!!! My yost my baby!!!! Pease Mama hep!! Oh NOOOOO!
My baby YOST!!!"
I hadn't a clue what on earth she was talking about. It took me at least 5 minutes. Then I remembered the tiny fetus baby cut out picture.
Her tiny fetus baby cut out photo was LOST.
With the help of my iPhone flashlight I looked everywhere. I shook the blanket. I searched under the pillowcases and in the pillow cases (all while the "Oh no! my baby yost!!!" is on repeat). I noticed, now that both of my eyes were open and functioning, that it was NOT 6:30. It was 5:30. I too began to panic. I had to find the freaking tiny fetus photo cut out fast and get my tiny baby and myself back to sleep before there was no going back to sleep. Tiny fetus baby photo was nowhere to be found.
The crying and wailing and despair continued.
I returned to bed and tried to comfort Grace as best as I could knowing the baby was
"Grace, it's still night time. We need to go back to sleep. If we can't find it in the morning (ahem...here it comes)... Mama will go take a new tiny fetus baby from the neighbors paper box. It's ok. Shhh....we will find another baby...." (add that to the list of things I never thought I'd say.)
The crying and wailing and despair continued.
I returned her back to her cot and tucked her in thinking that it will be unbearable for her to not be close to me and she will stop the crying and wailing and despair - because I was certain if they hadn't woken already, the teenagers would be awake and unimpressed at the reason for the very early alarm and begin forming a plan for retaliation.
The crying and wailing and despair continued.
"Do you want to come back by Mama? (she sobbed Yes).
"Ok then you have to stop crying and we will pray that we find the baby in the morning." (ok she continued sobbing)
I picked her up and hugged her repeating "it's ok...we will find the baby"...and rubbed her back.
Then I felt a piece of cardboard stuck to her sweaty back, peeled it off of her skin and exclaimed victoriously:
"GRACE!!! I FOUND YOUR BABY!! IT WAS STUCK ON YOUR BACK!!" (also add that to the list of things I never thought I'd say.)
Immediately the crying and wailing and despair ended. Grace giggled with delight, thanking me over and over again, "Day-do Mama my baby my find my back", and returned to her vice grip on the tiny fetus baby cutout and settled down into our morning snuggle routine.
Of course now it was passed 6:00 and just as I started to fall back to sleep for a few blessed minutes Grace began her usual morning wake up mantra:
"Mama....My EEEEEEEEEEEAT. MYYYYY EAT. MAMA MY EAT PLEASSSSSSSSSE."
Grace, the fetus baby cut out photo, and I headed downstairs for
There it was - the plastic, tiny, fetus baby in all it's glory next to full term baby doll. I brought the baby to Grace and she took it in her free hand (because the other hand, of course, was still occupied with the fetus baby cut out photo). She looked at the fetus baby, and then at the fetus baby cut out photo. She kissed each of them as only a mother does, and smiled. Then she gently placed them side by side on the counter and trotted off to play with legos. It was now 6:45am.
They sat there untouched for hours.
Hours.
Curious George accompanied Grace to bed tonight.
The fetus baby and the fetus baby cut out photo are on the ready for tomorrow morning, just incase.
Goodnight.
1 comment:
That IS funny! Thanks for sharing that story....I needed that laugh - hee hee!!
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