Saving Grace

There are milestones in every journey. Landmarks, mile markers, freeway exits...

As I look back on the 36+ years of my journey I recognize milestones like - birthdays, births, deaths, weddings, graduations, anniversaries, firsts...

I like to appreciate the memory of milestones. I like to appreciate the moment of a milestone. I'm big on birthdays, special days, anniversaries, firsts and lasts - I know that life is short and I intend to soak in the moments that matter because they go by too fast for my liking. 

Our family is at a milestone in our journey and there are many we've passed together and many to look forward to. The one we are at is a big one. In fact, it's a monument sized milestone. It's not one I truly dared to take in until recently. I believe with all that is in me that it's been there all along...this gigantic block being chiseled and shaped and formed by God.

Yesterday we submitted the paperwork and required fees to adopt a little girl from China. 

I could tell you that I have felt like someone in our family was missing...but that wouldn't be true. We are very grateful, content, and comfortable with our little foursome. I could tell you that we find ourselves with loads of extra money and time and stare at the walls wondering whatever should we do...but that's even further from the truth. 

The truth is that as I look back on my journey I know that my heart has been guided to this place. Not jerked into submission, not pushed into action - that's not how God works. There have been times when one of us in our family has been ready to act. There have been times when none of our family was ready to act. I believe that God has been preparing each of us for this in His way, in His time. I believe there is a little someone who is meant for us every bit as much as we are meant for her. So, while we were all at different places in this journey - some of us very open and ready, others hesitant, and still others who wanted no change in our life...we began to pray and ask God that if it was His plan - he would open doors and take each of us where we were at and bring us to the same place. Robert and I prayed that our family would be one that said "I will" (or we will), when God is asking something of us. Not..."we won't" or "we would if we could"...

I knew that was a risky prayer. Risky because if it's a matter of shaping hearts to be open to something that God wants to do in our lives... only He can do that - and He most certainly will if we are open to the shaping. 

And He did, and He is. It's what He does best. 

We don't know who she is, if she's even born yet...but we know her name. 

After our son was in born there were a couple of times we thought there would be a new addition to the family. So while we wondered if there would or wouldn't be a third child we decided that if ever there was another daughter added to our family what her name would be. Needless to say, it never got used...

As we began seriously praying about adopting I remembered that name. Not long after, I sat in our church at the beginning of a new year, and a new sermon series. As the title came on the screen tears filled my eyes and I texted my husband (yes, during the sermon. I couldn't help it). I asked "Do you remember the name we had picked for our third child if it was a girl?"

"You mean little Gracie?"

"That's the one."

"Guess what the new sermon series is...

Grace Changes Everything

And so it began - I couldn't go a day without hearing the word, reading about it, seeing it in a "random" place... I do realize that it is very much like how you think you are buying a car that's unique in color or kind and once you are driving it you see dozens all over the place. 

But - my heart leaps and my breath is stolen and I know that it's her name. 

So this isn't the beginning of the story, really, it's more like the beginning of the middle... 

We are at the first steps of this process and although her name is Grace, it's really a story of faith - not only believing that God can, but knowing He will. 

I plan to continue blogging (and by continue I mean regularly after my year of silence) so that friends and family and whomever would like to follow our story can keep up with our progress. It could be a year or more before we meet her. I will post prayer requests as we move along in the upper right corner of this page. 

There are some big hopes in our heart at this point...

1. Hopefully we will bring Grace home summer of 2013. It's a realistic goal as long as everything goes smoothly.

2. We would love to travel as a family to meet her and bring her home. Summertime would be ideal for that. We are starting to look for ways to collect frequent flyer miles in the hopes that that would help all of us afford for us to travel as a family.

3. Expenses can be overwhelming - we are open to children with special needs and that could mean correctable needs, on going needs - we just aren't sure yet. We are trusting (sometimes minute by minute) that God will provide. We have seen him shape and change our hearts - money is no object to Him. There is not a nest egg named "Grace" in our bank account.

If you have any connections or advice to adoption grants or aid please forward that along to us. 

We are honored to have your support and your prayers as we move forward. 

Don't you love the picture at the top? I don't know who that is but I'm convinced her name begins with a "G".