Believing, Babies, and Barriers...

School is out...Summer is in progress - and we couldn't be busier - which is why it's been a while since there has been a new blog post :)

Our house will go on the market on June 22! We've surrendered the reigns to Shorewest Realty and our friend, Gene Goldsby, to handle all of the fun stuff that goes along with simultaneously selling and finding a house. We aren't so much looking for bigger and better; we are looking for a better layout for our growing family, a 4th bedroom, and perhaps a quiet space for a home office for Robert. We won't be putting an offer on a house until we are very close to selling ours. All of the timing, all of the details, all of the things that must match up in order for us to move is completely in God's hands.  We are in the process of painting, repairing, finishing projects that were started many moons ago (but not quite finished), and decluttering. It's kinda crazy right now, and almost overwhelming. We are giving it the best shot we can and trusting God to close doors and open windows (literally and figuratively) in His timing. Realistically, it would be great if that timing was before 2013...but we are prepared for the fact that it might not be until 2014. So, stay tuned...

As far as the adoption goes, we have had some minor hiccups - mostly paperwork that wasn't notarized correctly by physicians. It was disappointing, but,  I have to see every delay we encounter with a heart that believe that God's timing is perfect - and if I believe that, then I also must accept the fact that delays might be necessary to bring about His perfect timing. We are so consumed with getting our house ready to sell - I can't even imagine throwing a referral in there on top if it all and processing through that! So no - we do not yet have any more info on Grace, but hopefully by the end of summer.

I taught my last day on Thursday which was really bittersweet. I know there are a lot of people who don't understand how I could love being a substitute teacher, but I truly LOVED it. The staff that I worked with and the students really were a blessing to me and many of them I now consider friends that I hope to keep in touch with. My time teaching in special ed especially helped to open and shape my heart towards adoption and for that, and dozens of other things - I will forever be grateful for my time teaching. I hope someday when all our kids are in school I can return.

When we began to feel certain that we would start the process for adoption in December, one of the things we prayed for was an opportunity for more consistent income for me. About that same time, a sweet family I know through our school announced that they were going to be having twin baby girls born in late spring. This was a surprise for them, and it struck me how their family was changing and ours would be changing - in different ways, but similar ways too. I began to think of the mom in that family and pray for her and her babies. One day I decided to send her a note and ask if she had thought about childcare for the twins... long story short: it seems as if we each were the answer to each other's prayers and starting in Sepember, I will be nannying for their family full time for the school year. The beautiful baby girls were born tiny, but healthy at the end of April. I'm so looking forward to caring for them and snuggling them and watching their first year unfold.

It's easy to gloss over the day to day struggles of having faith and believing God. Believing in God and believing Him to be who He says He is are two very different things. These last 6 months have been such a time of stretching our faith and challenging us to live like we believe God not just in Him. Some days it's so hard and if I'm being honest - we are living those days right now. It would be great to win the lottery, or find a huge check in the mail and be able to rest and not think about mortgages, bills...money in and money out. It struck me though, that I don't know that we would need the kind of faith we are developing if everything was that "easy". I know God wants our hearts, I know He wants us to rely on Him alone - and it's often a moment by moment checking of where our eyes and hearts and minds are fixed...are they fixed on our checkbook balance? Are they fixed on the what if's? Or are they fixed on the Lord of heaven and earth who is mighty to save?

By no accident, I came across a verse in Isaiah that was exactly the reminder I needed on a day when it seemed easier to believe in the impossible than what is possible with God:

"I will go before you and I will level the mountains; I will break down the gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I AM THE LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." Is. 45:2


The road ahead for us sometimes looks more like the rocky mountains than the great plains. There are days when the barriers seem insurmountable. There are moments when it feels like we are at a gate that is locked and there's no way through. How about you?

We serve a God who goes before us. He doesn't just help us climb the mountains - His Word says - He levels the mountains. He doesn't just help us climb over the barriers or unlock the gates so we can walk through - He breaks them down and cuts through iron bars. He is powerful and He is good. He summons us by name because He knows us and He knows our needs.

May He be glorified by how He levels the mountains before us...