Ticket please.

In his book, Traveling Light, Max Lucado relates God giving us what we need at the moment we need it, to a parent giving their child their ticket to board the airplane. Since we now typically do all of that ticket buisness online, we could relate it to a concert ticket, a Packer Game ticket...you get the idea. The point is, a seasoned parent would never dream of giving a child a ticket too early. It could get lost, flushed down an unsuspecting toilet, blown heavenward in a swift gust of wind, or even stolen. Our heavenly Father similarly gives us just what we need not a moment too soon or too late. I remember reading that analogy several years ago and it's stuck with me. 

If someone would have told me a year ago that our new daughter would have multiple special needs, some popping up on a weekly basis - I might have scrapped the whole adoption in a moment of cowardice. I might have laughed thinking, "oh that's not true. We only accepted *these* conditions. We aren't comfortable with those other ones". Like, for example, conditions that send you to a pediatric
neuro surgeon.

Today, I'm feeling really grateful that God knows what I can handle. Truthfully, it's not much. At all.  But because I believe He's sovereign, I know that if He allows *this*, and I believe that He goes before me, and is ever for me; then I must also believe that today's special need is of no surprise to Him, nor is it too much for Him.

People ask us often, "Did you know Grace had so many issues before you adopted her?" We knew about the heart defect. We knew she had the repair surgery to disconnect her trachea from her esophagus. We did not know of the complications that repair caused until just before we met her. I diagnosed her scoliosis in China. Honestly none of it has rattled me that much. The cardiac surgery was so life changing, everything else pales in comparison to the time that she was ours before her heart was functioning as it should be. However, I'm really grateful I didn't have an opportunity to know more than I needed to know, because I had the opportunity to love Grace and know in my bones that come what may, I would do anything for her - she was my daughter, even before we met her.

She has lots of ways in which she was uniquely formed in her first mom's womb. This week upon getting her MRI results we also found that her spinal cord is both a little longer than it should he, and it has a small fatty lump at the base of the spinal cord. Since she is moving about and climbing and active they aren't terribly concerned, but have just suggested that removing or resecting the fatty deposit, lump,
chunk at the base might be warranted because those little buggers can adhere to the bone and cause problems that once are had, are hard to un-do. Like: incontinence, bowl abnormalities, pain, difficulty
walking etc.

God is so good. He is... because I'm reminded every time we find out something new, that He is able to heal it. He is able to do what doctors say is impossible. I need not panic. She's very obviously His.

So, despite having left Children's Hospital Monday believing we wouldn't be back for a long time, we have an appointment tomorrow at 9:30 to go over the results in depth with the neuro surgeon. I'll be darned if I rush her to surgery without feeling a peace about it so would you please pray for us that
we do what she needs and that it's very clear. These are the decisions that really do a number on me. Cardiac surgery was not optional. This might be our call and God knows, I want what He wants for her body. He's kept her all this time, against all odds. He's in this now. 

I posted to one of the facebook groups I'm part of to other adoptive moms, and moms of heart babies asking if anyone had any experience with this. Hours later I got a response...here's part of it:

Hi Amy, I am so pleased to be able to connect with you because New Day and your daughter played a part in our daughter's life and it is a treat to be able to share the story with someone who understands how amazing it is.

She went on to tell how she had seen Grace's picture on the New Day site and had began to pray for her and follow her progress, and pray for her at the same time her own family was in the process of their adoption. Seeing Grace, her adorableness and following her needs and progress online; caused their family to be open to similar needs. Three weeks before we got Grace's referral, they got their daughter's referral. God had used Grace to prepare them for their daughter. They once hoped Grace would be theirs, but truly she was meant to prepare them to accept the needs in the daughter who was meant for them. They are now home and a family living with similar things that we are living with. What a blessing to know how Grace affected their story and I never would have known that had I not had a new "special need" to google and research. What a treasure.

What if blessings come through scary medical stuff? What if blessings come through trials?

If you think of it in the next couple of days, especially tomorrow, please pray for us as we consult with the neurosurgeon. Add that clinic to the list of clinics I never thought I'd be visiting. God knew though, He's prepared us for this and He knows how the story continues. He wrote it, after all.

This story, is my very favorite one.