Part of blogging for me keeping is a record of our journey - for us as parents and for Grace. Another part is wanting to be a truth-teller about adoption which is one of the reasons I like the photo above. It's not a picture of a used-to-be-orphan who finally has a family and is overjoyed that her dream has come true. It's a photo a child who has no idea what has just happened and is scared to death. There were some not-so-very-fairy-tale-moments. But I treasure them.
About an hour in to our new life together Grace was smiling and laughing and we saw her silly side emerge much faster than I expected. I attribute that to three things:
- She received excellent loving care at New Day Foster Home. She knew how to love and receive love and that is a rare gift for an orphan in any country.
- Having Maddie and Jake present helped her immensely. It helped all of us. They immediately played and drew out silly from scary. Whatever extra $ it took to bring them along was well worth it 5 minutes into being a family of 5.
- People all over the world - literally - were praying for her to transition well.
Six months have gone by quickly and yet for all we have survived since May 6 - it seems like it should be much longer.
People often ask me - "So...did you know about all of her medical issues before you got her?"
My answer is, "We knew enough."
We knew enough. We did. I believe we knew exactly what we needed to know. We knew about the heart defect and what it would take to make her well. And lo and behold, six months later what once was our biggest issue - is hardly on the radar any more. I look at her scar every day and it reminds me of how much in her has healed. There something miraculous and awe inspiring about living, breathing, tangible evidence of healing.
All of the other stuff - the trachea, the esophagus, the scoliosis, the-possibly-could-be-might-be tethered spinal cord - is manageable. We are able to manage it. Had I known a year ago what we would have to manage I would have doubted that I could do it but I do it; but we do it, we all do it. Some days are harder than others. Some days it's hardly noticeable that she isn't a "normal" 2-year-old (if there even is such a thing) and other days are down-right-tough. Had we known too much too soon I fear we would have feared our way out of the exquisite joy of being her family. Thank God we knew just enough.
People often ask me - "So...did you know about all of her medical issues before you got her?"
My answer is, "We knew enough."
We knew enough. We did. I believe we knew exactly what we needed to know. We knew about the heart defect and what it would take to make her well. And lo and behold, six months later what once was our biggest issue - is hardly on the radar any more. I look at her scar every day and it reminds me of how much in her has healed. There something miraculous and awe inspiring about living, breathing, tangible evidence of healing.
All of the other stuff - the trachea, the esophagus, the scoliosis, the-possibly-could-be-might-be tethered spinal cord - is manageable. We are able to manage it. Had I known a year ago what we would have to manage I would have doubted that I could do it but I do it; but we do it, we all do it. Some days are harder than others. Some days it's hardly noticeable that she isn't a "normal" 2-year-old (if there even is such a thing) and other days are down-right-tough. Had we known too much too soon I fear we would have feared our way out of the exquisite joy of being her family. Thank God we knew just enough.
In six months we have learned much more about Grace than a few medical anomalies. We've learned:
- She loves to dance.
- She looooooooves loud music with a steady driving beat.
- She thrives on being independent (which makes for challenging moments).
- She does not realize how tiny she is.
- She is proportionately the fastest runner in our family.
- She loves to laugh, she loves to be silly, and she can go from silly to sassy in a split second.
- She loves to stand on things, and thinks it's hilarious when we show any exaggerated sign of panic that she's standing on something she shouldn't.
- She loves to carry around a basketball even though it's almost the same size as her.
- She does not like to be alone in a room. At all.
- She is usually quickly comforted during the night just knowing we are there.
- She has a very tight grip.
- She is happiest when all 5 of us are together.
- She is quite good at twirling, and she knows it.
- Elmo and Minnie Mouse make her smile.
- She can pick out a baby in a crowd from a great distance, and will stop at nothing to get close to a baby. When close enough she will ever-so-genty pat it's back (if allowed) or stroke it's back.
- She is very nurturing to her baby dolls. Clearly she paid attention at New Day and learned how to be a good mama.
- She loves all things "na-na-na" (translation: banana), and chocolate.
- Crackers rock her world.
- Stickers provide her hours of entertainment and she has above average fine motor skills.
- She loves the book: "Good Night Moon" and has taken to saying goodnight to darn near everything she can when it's bedtime, or nap time.
- She does not appreciate being interrupted when she is in the middle of anything. Ever.
- She is quickly comforted by being held, snuggled, or picked up.
*She really loves being a sister…
Grace is not the only one who has grown in six months time…
Happy ½ a year Gotcha Day little one. You have rocked our world in more ways than I can count and our days are filled with laughter and silliness and joy and the very best kind of crazy. There could never be enough words to tell you how loved you are and if I knew everything a year ago that I know now I would still pick you.
Every.single.day.
1 comment:
I used to know little Grace at NDFH well. My family adopted Roy from New Day, she sounds so much like him! He is a tiny little thing, independent, a goof ball, and loves Minnie Mouse and Elmo! His Minnie Mouse gigantic stuffed animals is his best friend. It's such a blessing to see Grace so happy!
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