2.5

If Grace were our first child we would say she's 36 months.

She's 2 and a half, and strangely enough - she's also a smidge over 2 and a half feet, and I don't know where the time went. I suppose it went into the great black hole all where all the time from all the children who age too fast, go. I hate that place. Sigh. It goes too fast, even for our tiny one.

11 months ago today we first met Grace and she was a very different girl back then. I suppose we all were different. Grace changed everything, after all. We've reached some threshholds though, the five of us, and as the seasons change and spring sloooooowly creeps in I'm reminded of all we have learned about Grace, and even more than that, all Grace has learned about us.

• having now celebrated all 5 of our birthdays as a family, Grace knows about birthdays. She knows that where there are lit candles, there is singing. She knows that no singing can begin until the lights go out. She's a little birthday fairy in the making. 
• she knows it's best when we are all here together. She knows instantly when someone is missing and wants to know where they are: "Oh no! Dada!" or "Oh no! Jiejie?!" She also know that we always come back. 
• She knows that Libby likes treats. She also knows that Libby likes her crackers, her toast, her puffs, her cookies, her applesauce, her waffle, her fish nugget, her fish crackers..."No Yibby!"
• She knows that Maddie and Jake go to school and that she does not, she stays "wi Mama". 
• She knows whose jacket is whose and notices when it's not hung up in it's spot (thats my girl). 
• She knows Daddy goes to work, and sometimes on an "a-pay" (airplane) and that Daddy comes "baaaaaack".
• She knows that Uncle Jason and "Yaya" are getting Married "Yayyyyyy!" Say it with me - FLOWER GIRL
• She knows who her family is, who her people are, where to find comfort, and how to say "I'm sorry". 
• She knows that Mama loves her to "the moooo" (the moon) and she knows that the moon goes nigh-night during the daytime. 
• She knows there are squirrels outside and that their name is "Ahh-cah" (Oscar (?))
• She knows we bite food not people. (that's where the saying sorry comes in)
• She sings and makes appropriate sound effects for each song in "Frozen". Oh yes. 
• She knows she is loved and she knows she loves us. 

Grace is extraordinarily observant and intuitive for a 2 ½ year old. It's unlikely that anything gets past her. She is growing and healing and thriving. We had our check up a few weeks ago at the Airway, Digestive and Voice clinic at a Children's hospital. If you don't know, this is a rare treasure and we are so fortunate and blessed to be close to a clinic where in one visit we consult with: GI, ENT, Pulmonary, Speech, and Hearing specialists. As a multidisciplinary team, they consult with us and each other and each examine Grace. We leave with a plan and comments all typed with suggestions and instructions on how to care for her special needs. It's phenomenal. It's like the justice league of doctors. They should each have a super suit. 

Here are the things we heard at the clinic:

*she is in coast mode now. 

*her lungs are crystal clear. 

*she has overcome so much and improved so much since we first met her almost a ear ago. It's quite amazing. 

*how Grace has overcome a deck stacked against her is a miracle, really. 

*she has recovered from her virus and pneumonia as if she were a healthy child with no congenital complications. 

This was music to my ears. Nothing in my life has affected my faith, my courage, my patience, my hope, my fear threshold, my peace, my joy-  like this child. Nothing has grayed my hair or wrinkled my skin like this child, but even the wrinkles are worth it.

It has been a very challenging winter doing the best we can to live our lives as normally as possible while following recommendations from the experts to keep her out of any childcare (church nursery) and away from sick (especially coughing) people. Coughing people are every.where. I'm eager for this flu season to be behind us and for fresh air, warm weather and sunny skies.

Eleven months have passed so quickly. Sometimes people ask us if we will "do this again". I assume they mean adopt. We talk about it. We pray about it. I am wrecked over the number of orphans there are all over the world, particularly in China. I'm wrecked over how many have medical needs that we could provide for easily. I'm troubled by how the church at large turns their back, looks the other way, or at the very least, does a minimal amount of recognition such as highlighting "orphan Sunday"or "Adoption Month" and some don't even do that. After our experience I'll never be the same, how could I? I see their faces every day, I know their stories, I know their needs and I could meet their needs. You could meet their needs; maybe by adopting, or maybe by sponsoring or giving or praying. At the moment I do what I can by sharing our story to Grace. I post a gazillion pictures, I write stuff, I advocate for places like New Day Foster Home who *are* saving lives by providing surgeries for orphans so that they *can* be adopted and know the love of a family like Grace does now. I vow not to forget their faces. I promise to pray for their healing and for their families to find them. Some folks are probably tired of hearing about adoption, and I have decided to talk about it anyway. Children matter and everyone can do *something* to help.

I don't know if we will go back. I do know that we are open to whatever God wants for our family. One thing I've learned is that I would much rather be open to what God asks and say I will, than say - "I would if I could" or "I won't". You don't get to know God deeper by saying "I would if I could", that I know. 

I would never have known the love of this little girl, or seen that smile, or the sparkle in her eyes if we would have kept saying "I can't. I won't. It's too hard. It's too much. I'm too comfortable."

It all began with "I will".  The very month she was born, we said "I will.". Only God writes a story like that.