Being Found

Today was our last visit to Wausau. Surprised? So were we. Our home study should be done in a few weeks and we will be able to read it (imagine a 15-20 page paper all about us and our family...that seems to be pretty much what it is). Our social worker sees no forseeable roadblocks and we are hurrying to complete the final requirements for our dossier. We should still be set to ship it off mid summer! When we were getting ready to leave I asked her when we should come back - and the answer made my heart skip a beat. We don't need to see her again until we have Grace in our arms. (unless we move, then she has to come and check out the new house). It was a surreal thought because I'm sure in some ways I'll look back on this day and think "It seems like just yesterday"... Let's hope.

We talked mostly about the adoption education, what we have learned; and a bit more about our histories and the support system we have in our lives to help us when we need it. We feel so blessed to have the support that we we do from family, friends, schools, church, co-workers...it's mind blowing at times how our life is going to change - it rattles us at times - it makes us cry at times - it makes us rely on God all the time. You who are walking this journey with us are a treasure beyond words. What a privilege to share this amazing journey...and it's really still just the beginning.

One of the questions we have had to ask our selves, and Andrea needed us to answer today is:


"How will you explain adoption to Grace? What will that process look like?".


Exhale. It's not an easy one to answer. She may ask as a toddler. She may ask many times after that. People want to know about their beginnings. Our biological children have never had to wonder long. They love to hear the story about when they were born. They love to watch videos of their first steps, or first words, or birthdays. Grace may not have much of a story beyond being found.

We have learned there are many ways to spin a story. Politicians excel at it. Teachers know it. Laywers depend on it. There are different ways to craft words in a sentence to leave the listener feeling positive or negative. For our adopted daughter, we expect that the beginning of her story (after obviously being born) could lead to words like: abandoned...left...placed...given up... The details won't be clear. We have read enough to believe that children who are "abandoned" in China are intentionally left where they will be found. If their parents choose to give them life - and choose to give them the opportunity to live - but feel that because of numerous reasons they can not keep them - they leave them where they will be found. They are left because they are loved and are given a chance at a life. We may not ever know where she was left by her birth parent(s). We will know, however, that she was found. Someone will find her. Someone may have already found her.

When we talked through this today it reminded me of a book called, Shaoey and Dot. It's a children's' book about a little girl in a Chinese orphanage who is befriended by a ladybug (Dot). The ladybug hears Shaoey (Show-ee) through the window of her orphanage. Dot visits her and becomes familiar with her moods and her cries. There's the cry when a diaper change is needed, the cry when she's hungry, etc.:

"But then, there's a cry that's the saddest of all. In fact, it's unlike any other. It comes from a deep empty place in your heart that can only be filled by a mother...
And after today, I will never again hear that sad song coming from you. You're getting adopted, you're getting a mother, and you're getting a family too! (Of course, I'll be right there with you...we'll go to the park and the zoo and do all the things families do!"


(excuse me I need a kleenex.)

At first, we will tell Grace that her story begins with being born into a family that could not raise her and take care of her, but loved her and wanted her to be found by a family who would come for her.

We're coming...